Almost done with chemo update.
It has been forever since I posted. When life feels normal I forget to post. There really isn't anything new to report, which, in this case, is wonderful!! Logan has healed up great from surgery. The vein that they did a resection on isn't filling very well which would indicate that there may be a clot or something in there but they aren't worried about it at this point. So....I guess I won't worry about it then? I try to just follow the feelings of the docs and if they say they aren't worried, I don't worry. He has been having great energy lately and is even getting some hair back because of our few week break from chemo. It will start falling out again because we still have 3 rounds of chemo left, but it was good to see that it did, in fact, come back ;). His last round of in patient chemo is in 3 weeks and we are REALLY excited for that. Logan really enjoys his stays there but when it's time to go home he is always really grateful to go home. After that, we have 2 more rounds of out patient, 3 weeks apart. So, Dec. 14th ish is when we will finish treatment. There will be lots of follow up appts after that, but to have normalcy again will be a great relief. I have been homeschooling Logan...and I use that term VERY loosely. He spends about and hour and a half a day doing computer learning, workbook pages and writing stories. Then he reads for 20 minutes and we call it good. I literally, do nothing except tell him to go do it, which is incredibly nice. He has a question every so often and that's about it. I'm sure I am missing tons of stuff that they are learning in class, but I don't even kind of care. He will catch up easily when he heads back in January. I enjoy having him home a lot but we definitely butt heads. I think we will both be grateful to have a break from each other. For how often we are together, I think we do really well most days. Some days, we don't do well at all. Those days usually end with me getting a note saying how much he loves me and then I remember why I had children and we carry on.
He had chemo and scans yesterday and all went well. If he doesn't ever see another gatorade or lemonade in this life, I think he will be content. He woke up this morning throwing up because we didn't give him zofran in the night. Usually he does fine through the night but it has been awhile since he has had the doxorubicin drug and I think his body is ticked at him for it. He is doing better now. Often he says his feet or legs hurt right after chemo. His feet are really sore this morning so I have just been rubbing them a lot and he says they feel better. I have no idea if it's from the chemo or if he is just like me and trying to get a foot rub out of the deal. Either way, I'm cool to do it. We feel incredibly lucky that Logan has handled the chemo so well. His Doc has said a few times that he and the other docs always talk about how awesome Logan's body is doing. He said that usually kids just don't feel well enough to go to school so he doesn't even think about talking about it, but he actually told me that Logan could go to school if he wants. We decided we aren't interested in the germs at school so we will wait, but it is so nice to hear that he is doing so well. We consider it part of our little miracles that seem to keep happening. We feel incredibly blessed to get to witness these little miracles. They have strengthened my testimony so much. I do worry that once we get through this that my testimony will not be able to stay where I feel like it has gone. I pray daily not to lose my faith. It seems so easy to do in this world. I love the way I feel right now. I feel closer to the Spirit of the Lord than I have since I was a nanny, when I moved to NY all by myself a few days after I graduated high school. It was an incredibly difficult/growing time in my life that I will be forever grateful for. It wasn't an event, it was a year of me on my knees just trying to get through each day. I was in my scriptures like never before because I needed answers. I had so many life changing experiences that year and in the following 2 summers, that I will be forever grateful to my brother, Jeff, for suggesting it and for my sweet dad for being totally okay with my path (not going straight to college like I thought I was supposed to). One of my greatest blessings in this life has been my parents trusting me to choose my own path without criticism. I see so clearly that it was exactly the path for me and continue to draw on the things I learned at that time. As bad as it hurts, I have no doubt that trials are placed before us to stretch us and help us grow and, what a disappointment if I go through it all and don't grow, or don't maintain this growth. I'm grateful to see my kids' growth even though it hurts us both. So, we pray that the Lord will continue to spare Logan's life and that we will have the faith to live a life free from the worry that comes with something like this. Trauma is an interesting beast. I'm really grateful I receive peace when I ask for it, because my little brain doesn't know what to do to stop feelings sometimes. I'm grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who says, "That's okay. You work through it in the best way you can, and I will give you the peace that you need to be okay....but...you CANNOT try to do this without me." (He didn't actually say that to me ;)) These truths have become increasingly clear to me. The closer I draw to Him, the more happily I am able to deal with life's trials. Wow, it's funny how I start writing about details of life and then I just start rattling on about my inner most feelings. I guess that's why writing is therapeutic, but I never intend to write these big long posts and they just happen. I think I will love to read them some day.
The rest of life is going well. Mason loves his teacher. He just started Jr. Jazz and absolutely loves it, even with a broken arm. We let him play with his cast last game and he even scored!! I was so happy for him. He has a few really great friends in the neighborhood that he loves to hang out with and I love them all. They are great boys and they have so much fun.
Me and some friends are doing preschool for out littles twice a week and it is going great. Jolie loves to go and I love to get to know all of these kids even better and I get to teach every few weeks. It really is the perfect set up.
Davis turns 2 tomorrow. My baby is 2. It's really crazy to think about. Our babies have all taken about 20 months to start sleeping through the night. We know why and we are okay with it. It is a heckuva 2 years but they sleep like a dream after that. Once I wean them they start sleeping through the night but I still have to rock them to sleep at nap and night for a few months after that. It has been hard and time consuming but I don't regret one single second of it, especially on this end. So, Davis is officially a great sleeper. We can just lay him down and he goes to sleep without crying or even whining. He just says good night. If your baby does this from early on you might not get why this is such a big deal, but as it happens with each child, I feel this sense of freedom that is amazing. Dan and I are both so excited about it. And, it is even a little more exciting to know that we don't have to do it again. We are both ready to move into a new stage of life and it feels great. Don't get me wrong, I will miss rocking babies. It has been my life for 10 years and I seriously love it...but, I'm tired. No regrets, ready to move on. I like this place. Davis is hilarious and fun and we all just love him. But, we are also all ready to move on. No one really wants any more babies except Logan, who insists he will have 12 children, which is great for him...but not for this girl.
Dan is loving work and doing awesome there. He is contemplating actually putting up Christmas lights this year, so that's big for us. We have never been in a place where we felt like doing that.
I am loving my time with my little kiddies. I play soccer with my favorite ladies ever every Tuesday. It's one of my favorite things. I look forward to it every week. It's been going for three years (with some baby hiatus in between). I love these ladies so much and could ask them to do anything for me and they would. The relationships that have developed from kicking each other in the faces with soccer balls is amazing. It has been a huge blessing in my life, to say the least. I also do book club once a month which I absolutely love. Women need other women. Okay, that's all. I have to go do my hair for my hot date tonight!
He had chemo and scans yesterday and all went well. If he doesn't ever see another gatorade or lemonade in this life, I think he will be content. He woke up this morning throwing up because we didn't give him zofran in the night. Usually he does fine through the night but it has been awhile since he has had the doxorubicin drug and I think his body is ticked at him for it. He is doing better now. Often he says his feet or legs hurt right after chemo. His feet are really sore this morning so I have just been rubbing them a lot and he says they feel better. I have no idea if it's from the chemo or if he is just like me and trying to get a foot rub out of the deal. Either way, I'm cool to do it. We feel incredibly lucky that Logan has handled the chemo so well. His Doc has said a few times that he and the other docs always talk about how awesome Logan's body is doing. He said that usually kids just don't feel well enough to go to school so he doesn't even think about talking about it, but he actually told me that Logan could go to school if he wants. We decided we aren't interested in the germs at school so we will wait, but it is so nice to hear that he is doing so well. We consider it part of our little miracles that seem to keep happening. We feel incredibly blessed to get to witness these little miracles. They have strengthened my testimony so much. I do worry that once we get through this that my testimony will not be able to stay where I feel like it has gone. I pray daily not to lose my faith. It seems so easy to do in this world. I love the way I feel right now. I feel closer to the Spirit of the Lord than I have since I was a nanny, when I moved to NY all by myself a few days after I graduated high school. It was an incredibly difficult/growing time in my life that I will be forever grateful for. It wasn't an event, it was a year of me on my knees just trying to get through each day. I was in my scriptures like never before because I needed answers. I had so many life changing experiences that year and in the following 2 summers, that I will be forever grateful to my brother, Jeff, for suggesting it and for my sweet dad for being totally okay with my path (not going straight to college like I thought I was supposed to). One of my greatest blessings in this life has been my parents trusting me to choose my own path without criticism. I see so clearly that it was exactly the path for me and continue to draw on the things I learned at that time. As bad as it hurts, I have no doubt that trials are placed before us to stretch us and help us grow and, what a disappointment if I go through it all and don't grow, or don't maintain this growth. I'm grateful to see my kids' growth even though it hurts us both. So, we pray that the Lord will continue to spare Logan's life and that we will have the faith to live a life free from the worry that comes with something like this. Trauma is an interesting beast. I'm really grateful I receive peace when I ask for it, because my little brain doesn't know what to do to stop feelings sometimes. I'm grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who says, "That's okay. You work through it in the best way you can, and I will give you the peace that you need to be okay....but...you CANNOT try to do this without me." (He didn't actually say that to me ;)) These truths have become increasingly clear to me. The closer I draw to Him, the more happily I am able to deal with life's trials. Wow, it's funny how I start writing about details of life and then I just start rattling on about my inner most feelings. I guess that's why writing is therapeutic, but I never intend to write these big long posts and they just happen. I think I will love to read them some day.
The rest of life is going well. Mason loves his teacher. He just started Jr. Jazz and absolutely loves it, even with a broken arm. We let him play with his cast last game and he even scored!! I was so happy for him. He has a few really great friends in the neighborhood that he loves to hang out with and I love them all. They are great boys and they have so much fun.
Me and some friends are doing preschool for out littles twice a week and it is going great. Jolie loves to go and I love to get to know all of these kids even better and I get to teach every few weeks. It really is the perfect set up.
Davis turns 2 tomorrow. My baby is 2. It's really crazy to think about. Our babies have all taken about 20 months to start sleeping through the night. We know why and we are okay with it. It is a heckuva 2 years but they sleep like a dream after that. Once I wean them they start sleeping through the night but I still have to rock them to sleep at nap and night for a few months after that. It has been hard and time consuming but I don't regret one single second of it, especially on this end. So, Davis is officially a great sleeper. We can just lay him down and he goes to sleep without crying or even whining. He just says good night. If your baby does this from early on you might not get why this is such a big deal, but as it happens with each child, I feel this sense of freedom that is amazing. Dan and I are both so excited about it. And, it is even a little more exciting to know that we don't have to do it again. We are both ready to move into a new stage of life and it feels great. Don't get me wrong, I will miss rocking babies. It has been my life for 10 years and I seriously love it...but, I'm tired. No regrets, ready to move on. I like this place. Davis is hilarious and fun and we all just love him. But, we are also all ready to move on. No one really wants any more babies except Logan, who insists he will have 12 children, which is great for him...but not for this girl.
Dan is loving work and doing awesome there. He is contemplating actually putting up Christmas lights this year, so that's big for us. We have never been in a place where we felt like doing that.
I am loving my time with my little kiddies. I play soccer with my favorite ladies ever every Tuesday. It's one of my favorite things. I look forward to it every week. It's been going for three years (with some baby hiatus in between). I love these ladies so much and could ask them to do anything for me and they would. The relationships that have developed from kicking each other in the faces with soccer balls is amazing. It has been a huge blessing in my life, to say the least. I also do book club once a month which I absolutely love. Women need other women. Okay, that's all. I have to go do my hair for my hot date tonight!
Butter cheek
Candid of me snuggling my baby. I think it might be the only one we have ;)
baby burrito
She is seriously the best laundry helper. Sorting socks are a thing of the past for me.
Logan is seriously an amazing big brother. He is always trying to get snuggle time by reading them stories
I wasn't there for this, but I'm guessing this is the first egg nog 'staches of the season. I just saw these in our google photos from last night while I was at book club. Dang, they are cute.
Jolie's boots. He was thrilled that he could actually walk in them.
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